Monday, 9 August 2010

I Live For You Guys Now

Hey everyone.
Right first, thanks for the comments about my drawing :) and yeah I LOVE OHSHC too, I've watched them all and now reading them XD
And the picture today is a really old one I gave to Skei for Christmas or his borthday... Or randomly I cant remember.
But onto todays antics.
I tried to kill myself again.
I know, brilliant aint I? Although I dont think I'll die on 10 pain killers (5000 mg or whatever), I've taken more variety before but maybe I'll wake up dead. Who knows! If I dont post tomorrow, I died.
Reason for another attempt suicide: Skei
Again. I know. Now, its my fault he's grounded for the rest of summer (4 weeks) because I said I wanted my stuff back, he took it as 'I wanna break up' he fucked off without trace and got high, attempting to kill himself too, my mum alerted his family to his non-exhistance and yeah. He's home now, hopefully not dead. If I find out he died, I'm deffinetly jumping off of some form of cliff or high building or stepping out onto the motor way.
My mum's taking me over to his tomorrow to get my things I wanted back (great chance to talk to him) and my mums gonna butter up his family into letting me go over to his occationally and let him come to a comedy gig in like 2 days. I haven't seen Skei in a week (well over really) so I really need contact with him (physical -as in kisses - nothing dirty you naughty people). Mostly, I just wanna hug. 4 weeks he'll doubtfully be sleeping over mine again, so I might just kill myself anyway coz I have no friends, except Manny but he'll be fine.
My eyes hurt, my head hurts, my back hurts and I dont wanna sleep, watch t.v or anything. I just wanna hear Skei's voice again.
Oh yah! Doesn't help that todays OUR ANNAVERSARY.
Everything shit happens on our anaversarries.
11 months btw.
God, I hate God. He should go die in one of those dog shit bins. Seriously.
Right I dunno what I'm going to do, probably sort out what I'm gonna give Skei tomorrow (coz he's left stuff at mine he needs) and balls...
Stupid therapy tomorrow morning. Fucks sake. I'm gonna talk to her about subscribing me pills, I really need them. I feel like one of those dog shit bins constantly.
Woo. I'm a dog shit bin.
And I'm still fat, even if I'm someone's goal weight, I'm still huge.
And I realised something whilst reading Yum's blog.
I wanna look sickly too... Which is kinda scary.
Maybe I'll know when to stop?
Either way I'm gonna die sooner or later.
I love you, You're my sunshine on a shitty dog bin-ish day!


  1. I love love love that drawing, your style is SO cute! Kyaa! I really want to read the ouran books, I'll have to check it out at the library XD

  2. Your drawings are awesome! I wish I could draw like that. I'm sorry I haven't been commenting as much, my dashboard hasn't been updating properly :/

    I hope your okay, I know what you mean about over dosing. Over time your body just become resistant. At last check I can take 40 and not die. Impressive. Not.

    But please please don't kill yourself sweet, I'd miss your posts. The way your write always brings a smile to my face and I'd miss you!

    I hope your okay, if you ever need to chat my msn link is on my profile page. I'm pretty much always around as I have no life because I'm cool.

    lots and lots of love ♥

  3. You had better fucking wake up! I'm so pissed at you for being a dickhead I'll totallycome up there and kick your corpse!! D:<

    You have to be alive and draw more Naru/Sasu fanart for me!!It was so cute!! You should alst read JtHM by Jhonen Vasquez. Something tells me you'll like it.