Friday, 30 April 2010
ish mish. 
right yesterday i was too angry to eat [big ol' situation about im 'not just a fucking bitch im a fat fucking bitch', went off the walls, hit a few things ect..]
so i didnt eat yesterday
ate loads today however. depressive eating. coz basically my dogs gonna die.
went to the gym tho. but deffinetly ate more than i burned.
am going to townio tomorrow. need to get my friend a birthday presant and keep me out of the house. its easier to stay away from food when you hav to pay for it.
sunday i might go for an early walk [whenever i wake up] then weigh, measure and photograph mon fat self :/ christ.
if iv gained that pund back ill be pissed.
i only did 20 minutes at the gym but pushed myself.
on the bikes i alternated between 8 secs of reli fast peadaling and 12 secs of normal for 10 minutes
on treadmill i built up speed to 6.5 mph then went down a little then carried on getting slower for five minutes after the 10 minutes
i reli shouldnt eat breakfast. it makes me want more food.
iv been keeping busy by taking down all my posters on the walls and throwing out the ones i dont want anymore. but im not putting them back up coz it means effort and i want them all up when i live with my dad for collage [in a little over a year]
been making endless lists -.- what to do, what to get, what to get sorted for when... ect.
fast weekend. hopefully makes up for my shitty diet week.
i must say i think my school trousers [which are skinny leg] feel bigger and baggier. i can pull it away from my waist [never been able to do that before] and theres loads of excess space in the leg parts now. could be the wash or maybe i reli am losing weight..
iv developed a compulsion to read or try to find the nutritional value chart on all foods. which is good then i know what im eating.
[give up with numbers] # I Dont Care Who Says It, It Just Proves Its Not All In My Head. I Really Am Fat And Im Not Good Enough For Anyone.
i need to drink more water. im like dying. iv had 2 bottles and a can of coke zero [which has one calorie which is pretty amazing]
tomorrow i might let myself have the 20 blue berries that have been in my fridge for a couple of days. they might go off other wise and itll keep my body going for longer. then more water <3
tough work this getting thin thing aint it?
one last thing.
im gonna put thinspo on my blogs except the ones with my photo progress on.
lots of pretty skinny girls on my blog to motivate me
bye all ;)