Dance With Me In The MoonLight Its So Beautifully Intoxicating...

Awaiting the line. Signalling my turn to shine. Shine out in front of plenty of people. Friends and strangers. Here it is...
'In the prison cell with Joseph were two very frightened men'
Stepping out from behind the curtain, we clutched onto each other in false fear... and began to sing. Descending the stage onto the black platforms to join the 11-year-old star. Looking out into the crowd, seeing every one's focus directed on us. Everyone slightly obscured by shadow, whilst I was lit up in dazzling stage lights.
.
My solo.
.
Everyone was watching me. I was so interesting. It was like a dream. My heart was thumping against my chest, my stomach began to ease from the knot it had previously twisted into. Adrenalin. Now I remember why I love performing.
They laughed at my comic expressions, clapped and cheered as Act 1 came too a close.
One. Last. Line.
'You and your dream coat are ahead of your time..'
I put all my remaining energy into that final line, singing as loud as I possibly could to be noticed again. The lights went down. The hall was over come with applause! Cheering!
.
I could not believe that was it. Its all over.
.
Yesterday evening was the closing night of the Christmas show. It was brilliant. I weighed myself at 147.4lbs. At least now I don't have to buy diet pills for Christmas. I This whole show experience had reminded me of how much I missed being on stage, singing and acting. I did this on absolutely no food. I did drink some soup the previous day but I don't believe that counts. I haven't eaten since Monday. I don't think the 16 mints count as food. They are simply to sustain my energy whilst I worked in the dark room at Diploma.
.
I feel so good.
.
I swear I shall not eat until I am lovely! I shall be 10 stone by New Years. (I've lost 3lbs in the past couple of days so as long as I keep my activity up, I'll keep loosing.)
I have faith in myself for once. I believe I can be 10 stone for New Year. Not eating isn't as much of a mission as I thought! I've easily dodged eating chocolate biscuits offered from my teachers, or I've taken them and fed Skei with them. I feel so pleased with myself. I've also convinced my father that I will have soup for Christmas dinner because I am a vegetarian, and I 'only like soup' ;) Hahaha! I don't know why I struggled so hard before to just not eat! I guess I just haven't been busy enough! I love shows, they keep you busy, keep you active. I'm going to try and do more over the 2 weeks holiday. However. I hate winter. With a passion. My toes are always frozen, in turn, making me walk like an utter spazz. But I honestly must go out more. I shall force Skei UP and OUT of my bed and we will have fun outside my house for once. Also, I feel the need for tidying coming on. My room is a state. But I'm also shattered from the lack of sleep and the fact I went to bed at 3 this morning because I was finishing work. I then woke up at 7:10am.
.
So I'm likely to clear my bed, take some drugs to knock me out, and wait for pleasant sleep to take over me!
.
Oh, and is it normal to feel nothing? Like at all? The only thing I've felt in weeks was the Adrenalin rush from the show. Now I don't know if its possible for me to feel anything anymore.
.
Huh, I guess I'll have to ponder that!
.
'His little whispers love me' - Meg & Dia - Monster

Little Rant From G

Hello, this is G.
Kodii's other personality.
Yes I am a guy.
.
I have to rant right now before I attempt to kill Skei or hurt this body.
Right, I'm seriously gonna start head butting things if Skei doesn't listen to me and keeps going on and on about being a fuck up. Yes, fucking well done you're a fuck up. DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!
He fucking says he's had the money and ideas to make things up to Kodii but he goes and spends it on drugs coz he's scared she wont like it. Aren't relationships all about taking chances and trying your hardest to show how you feel? He just hurts Kodii more by taking all these fucking drugs, trying to hide it, then Kodi either finds out or he accidently tells her.
Heres a few promises he's made to her.
-Stop smoking
-stop drugs
-stop cutting
.
And guess what, he still does them all but has cut back on cutting. then he threatens me that if I touch him again he's going to break my neck. Haha, brilliant, trying to get back at me when I'm defending his girlfriend and I'm actually in her fucking body. Brilliant, brilliant threat right there.
And he decides that we dont love them. Obviously I do since I uh fucking proposed to one of Skei's other personalities! Obviously Kodii does seeing as she uh, gave him her virginity, draw things for him every few weeks, tries to celebrate every month anaversary... you get the idea.
And now with him saying shit like this, Kodii wants to kill herself. Again. You know, three times she's been talking to him in the process of killing herself. Every time she;s stopped short of it just to apologise to him for everything she's done.
My God.
She's managed to stop cutting herself for a few months now and is screaming at me to end it for her (I'm not going to just so you know.) And now I have a feeling Skei is SLEEPING in HER BED.
.
He hasn't spoken for a good hour now so I'm guessing he has.
.
My list of today is
3 things you hate the most.
1 technically not exhisting
2 only exhisting in Kodii's body and mind
3 The way Kodii is treated by, I dunno, fucking everybody?
.
Thank you for letting me rant, hopefully next time Kodii will be back to post.
If not, Either me (G), Syke or Ana will post and tell you how she is and whotnot.
Fucking good bye.
Cross your fingers I dont kill anybody!
x

Errrr?

Okay.
Please. Someone SHOUT AT ME I'M A BAD BAD GIRL!!
.
I suck at fasting -.- Caved into a cookie (thanks to Skei) and just pigged out on Mac and CHEESE??!!
My God I'm A HUUUUUGE FATTIE!!
.
So.. Shout At me!
.
I WILL FAST FOR 4 DAYS THOUGH!!
=.= (Determined face)
.
Uhm... Right well.
To new followers who haven't bothered to read my character list: I may be getting checked out, but I cant and wont say yes as SKEI is my boyfriend. Just thought I'd clear that up! Incase people didn't know!
Oh and I made a character name mistake last time x.x T and G... No.. Its T and Gaz. Sorry guys XD
.
I did my first yoga class todayy!!
It sucked.
It was full of old people who could do MORE THAN ME!
WTF! I'm supposed to be flexable? Fucking hell do I hurt!
.
*sigh* Well heres my food plan.
I shall fast for 4 days (til monday) And then move onto my version of Skinny Girl Diet! Basically I halfed the calories so I'd eat less shit and be forced to eat fruit!
Thats like... 3 ish weeks long... I keep forgetting where I left my booklet with it in so I'm not sure. But I WILL FAST =.=
FASTFASTFASTFASTFAST...
I just realised if you type fast wrong it could be 'Fats'
Ironic.
.
I've also set up exercises to do each day on my SGD so hopefully I'll loose weight FAST
See what I did there?
No? Okay.. :(
.
.
Oh God, I dont want school to start in about 2 and a half weeks!! I have course work to do and a book to read for English! GAHH!!
.
But I CBAAAA!!!
Coz, as you all know...
I'M A LAZY FATTIEEE!!
WOO
RUN FATTIE RUN!!
GAHHH!!!
.
I have no lists for you... I'll think of one!!!!
*thinks*
Top 3 people you couldn't live with out!!
1Skei.. (feel special BIYATCH)
2Mannyy XD
3All those sexy people out there! My Thinspo's basically XD
.
Spaz list :3
I'll leave before you get TOO scared of me
Again
I'm sorry! I'll stop!
x

Ballerina's Gone Wrong [52]

Christ.
I hate my Mum. Honestly. She has actually spoken to Fiona about me. My mum is such a cow. Yeah yeah shes worried about me blah blah but really, she shouldn't go round telling everybody that 'I DONT EAT'
.
I fucking do.
at least I pretend to eat for her.
She accuses me of being sick etc. etc.
Sure I've tried to (Very unsuccessfully) but technically I haven't.
.
Right heres the story.
.
Last night me and Fiona got a bit tipsy, but she started talking about having Bulimia before we drank anything. I didn't say a lot, I think I asked something about 'who's we?' and she started talking about 'Beat'. Then went on to asking me if I make myself vomit. The funny thing was that she only used, oh whats the word, politically correct? terms. 'Self induced vomiting'. This was the day I noticed a large number of diet books in her kitchen and Binged on cookies and cream Sunday and spent whenever I went to the toilet, doing star jumps trying to burn some calories off, only to put it back on with Wine and Minstrels.
Where was I before I waffled on??
Oh, yeah.
Well she spoke about when she didn't think she was ill and about recovery and something about how Anorexics and Bulimics have to be intelligent (Obviously) since they have to hide everything they do.
Obviously I'm not smart enough, seeing as I've been found out already. Probably because my mum snoops through my stuff...
But through the whole evening I didn't admit I was bulimic or anorexic (coz I'm not. I'm EDNOS ffs) but she still ended up giving me 2 books on EDs, a number for 'Beat' and said theres more books if I want to have a look at those. We also talked about being suicidal and self harming. I refused to say I cut myself in places other than my arm. She guessed the right places (nearly) but I just didn't want to say, seeing as I've tried to slit my throte before.
She also told me to call the Samaritans? I have their number already along with ChildLine but ChildLines free and I'm not so sure about the Samaritans. I prefer ChildLine anyway, seeing as I'm still a child really.
.
But yeah, I've had a little read through these books, find them boring as fuck. I already know everything there is to know about Eating Disorders. (Thanks to Google and sever boredom before I even obtained my ED, although I researched more into it when I became more suspicious...)
I'm also thinking of taking Psychology in college along with some arty shit. Just coz I'd like to learn about this stuff properly and discuss my view and reasons things like EDs and Depression can occur.
It'd also give me some insight into WHY I do the things I do (both ED related and Non-ED related).
I know this will sound stupid but after this talk, its not going to stop me cutting and all EDNOS business.
Fiona even showed me paintings she did in therapy, feelings of depression and self loathing etc and apparently I was the only person (other than the therapist) to see them (woo). It made me realise I do drawings like that. I once drew me, looking like I was dying, with loads of different demented characters coming out of me and one thats probably common with most people is a drawing of me and all the words I associate with myself (e.g. fat, ugly, pathetic, useless etc.)
.
Summing up?
-Fiona basically knows I have an ED
-I'd like to take Psychology in college
-Fiona's the older double of me
-Fiona's been where I've been
-And I'm still a whale. (145.5lbs)
.
Apologies for the long, slightly depressing post.
I needed to rant about it.
Might go have a look at the other books she has...
.
I do love you guys
don't do a me and try to kill yourself.
talk to someone coz I'd hate someone going through similar stuff to me has died coz no one helped them.
If you dont want help for your ED then get help for depression!!
Depression sucks ass.
Anyway!
I love you :)
x

OMG 3 MONTHS?? [51]

Right. I doubt you all know this, but my birthday is on the 4th October.
Yeah, 3 months away.
Prepare for a melt down...
.
OMFG I'M GONNA BE 16!!!
OMG WTF!
YESTERDAY I WAS TURNING 15 NOW I'M FUCKING 16??
LEAGAL!?!?!?!?!?!
(in the UK I'm leagally allowed to have sex at 16 so PrettyWreck, like you said, SEX ME UP XD)
So get me presants XP
Nahh JK I 'm not gonna give out my address XD
.
But yes. I'm at work experience, The foods shitty I'm forced to eat more than ever and I done have Skei.
.
Warning. Melt down number 2.
I WANT SKEI!!!!!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I MISS HIM ALREADY I ACTUALLY CRIED!
.
BUT the plus is I have to get up alot and occationally join in in the little kids classes. And I will soon have a empty house lie in. So I can do exercises when I wake up and ect. ect. and blah blah blahh!
.
I tried to blog this morning, my phone wouldn't let me, so I got my computer/laptop thingy connected tot he internet JUST FOR YOU (jk so I could talk to Skei aswell!)
God facebooks getting into my brain again (you know, all the 'jk' groups?)
.
Huh well today one of the classes I was basically watching was a Grade 5 ballet, and there was this one girl who was so skinny, honestly I'd say she was anorexic, and her name was Anna. I thought that was pretty funny! But yanno, not.
.
Anyway, My multiple personality (Ana, the... Anorexic...) was a little pissed off to see that the real life version of her was blonde, tall and bubbly.
.
.
Thats all.
I promise I'll be skinnier!
<3
x
.
P.S There were around 450 calories in ONE FUCKING SANDWICH!! It wasn't as bad as the ones with meat in, around 500 or more!!

Oh My Foggin' GAWD! [45]

Righty. I thought I MUSTMUSTMUST post now.
Like Right now.
Yeah now.
Okay... NOW!
.
Well, I'm currently fresh out of my cold shower smelling of apples, decided I would have a looky at mon Bloggo and was filled with shock-horror at my followers.
Maraculously, I went from 4 followers to 17!!
*craps herslef and dies*
OMG I FEEL SO LOVED RIGHT NOW!
.
I had a kinda average day and THIS just made me grin like a f'ing crazy person (which I am but thats besides the point!) And felt the urge (Oh-ayee XD) to write for my lovely new follwers!
.
And I'm guessing you all came from PrettyWreck (THANK YOU! I'm like so in love with you right now! XD)
Uhm.. well I guess I should get on with maybe what happened today?
Uh. Nothing.
Yesterday however...
I finnaly got to the
ONE STONE MARK!
YESSSSSSSSSS!
haha! I've lost a whole stone since I started trying to lose this gross jiggly-ness!
And now I have 17 followers (Ima just keep bringing that up XD) I will honestly try harder.
I've been such a lazy cow.
But I'm trying to dicipline myself with exercise.
Wish me luck. Never worked in the past but I'll give it another shot!
.
Now Ima reply to my FIRST COMMENTS LIKE EVER
(haha I sound so lonely!)
.
@See
Hey thats awesome! I know actually I've noticed theres not really many girls who're 15 who log this stuff... but I find that awesome XD coz I'm sad ;) and OMG its so annoying right? ahahaa I have so many sexy ladies (okay just random advert girls) all cut out but cba to stick them on my wall yet and other stuff which I'll need glue for! Ima bother my mother until she gets some. :D
x
.
@Peridot (G+P)
Wow, I'm really gonna have to thank her XD I haven't gotten round to actually commenting on her blog yet >.< I should be ashamed! and Faaack! Someone is actually reading my WHOLE blog! Oh My Aunty Mary. I dont have an Aunty Mary btw XD. and I'm not too sure what you mean by 'scarred with my usual tom-foolery' but sure! I'm an only child so feel free to sibling me up XD and Thankd XD I say alot of weird things like Corr :D you'll see haha! Yeah I can guess.. I suck at spelling is all XD I'm 5'7 an can kick someone who's about 6' ish in the face ^-^ I used to do it years ago but stopped haha lazy cow XD
x
.
Right
Too my new and old(ish) bloggers.
Corr blimey XD
I LOVE YOU!!
x

Stupid Bloggers fucked up how many posts I've done! [44]

Hello Beautiful people!
(i.e. four whole followers!)
I'm a little proud that I have 4 followers XD
.
Today, I've been a good girl. I had soup for lunch and will have soup for dinner! I've done most of my German homework, and also prepared something to give to Skei to help him with his German speaking exam on Tuesday so I hope he appreciates it. I've attempted a bit of English work but cba to find the stuff I actually need to finish it!
.
Reasons I've been a bad girl though...
I had ice cream last night thanks to my bloody mother! I haven't even started an assessment for English which is due in two weeks but I have next weekend to cram stuff in. I haven't finished stage 4 for my citizenship class but I'll do that Monday night! I haven't followed my work out thingy but I'll try again next week.
.
Some news:
Me and Manny are starting Tai Kwon Do [sp?] And Li might be joining us. We're doing it every Wednesday for a month at least coz its free for a month XD but I think I might continue it if I find it enjoyable!
I've found this stuff that stops stomach ache, heartburn and shizz like that including bloating! I've been sipping a glass of it since lunch so I hope maybe it'll help?
I'm well on my way to making a full Thinspo book but have currently got no glue ANYWHERE in the house! WTF!
I've spent hours recently cutting out pretty/thin women to stick on my thinspo wall but haven't gotten round to actually sticking them up.
.
Right now my stomach is gurgling!
Win!
I'm probably going to go psycho/OCD on my room in a sec coz its actually disgusting!
See you sexy people on the other side ;)
x

Gimme A Hey, Gimme A Ho, Gimme A I Dont Know You Anymore! [42]

Hey All. Right I have A muddle of things to get through so bare with me!!
.
1) I'm tired. WAY over worked at school. I just wanna pass out for the next two years!
2)I haven't lost anymore weight... BUT I tried the dress on the other day and I can get my arse in the bitch!! But still can zip it right up. And I bought a pair of size 10 [US 6 I think??] short shorts and didn't even have to undo them when I put them on yesterday!
3)I'm barley following ABC anymore. I'll just keep going as I am until I finish ABC then since I've over eaten so much, I'm fasting for a week. Real serious business here!
4)I miss Skei. Even though I saw him 2 days ago. I just miss him. I guess its coz I know I wont see him until Monday... Suckishh.
5) I've ordered a really high-tech pedometer and this weird muscle toner... Haha cop-out I know but I thought I'd give it a go! No harm in that right?
6)I've become OCD with any sweets or gum I find [non chewed gum.. and sweets around the house]. I have designated jars for them now.
7) My feet hurt. I admit, I shouldn't have eaten the mr. whippy, snicker, snicker icecream or anything of that nature that I [for once] didn't swallow whole. I walked a FUCK load today. Like 5 ish miles? Okay, Its alot for me!
8) I really want to go smoke my fag I've had for about a month. It broke in half today and I've loosely fixed it with a whatsitcalled...
9)I've been taking ALOT colder showers than I'm used too. And I think thats why my stomach looks kinda flat even though its all fat! Its gross really...
10) I actually bought a bikini the other day. I'm not gonna wear it any time soon. I need to lose more of this gross belly! Erghh.
.
I think thats it.
I might just annoy you and post again if I remember anything...
But...
I love you.
x

Fat People Porn X.X [41]

First off.
What's up with the title you ask?
Oh yeahh, well someone in PT posted a link to unthinspiration of rather fat women, some with gorgeous faces, but a couple were very fat and ugly, totally naked in porno poses.
ERGHHHH!!!
*shivers*
.
Moving on.
Fast.
Must fast.
I'm also beginning a 5 day week exersice regimine, I can exersice on weekends too if I loke (which I probably will if I'm not weighed down with homework..) but heres the thingy id you wanna try. I'll tell you guys id it works :)
.

Monday

20 sit ups

15 leg lifts

jog in place 30 seconds

40 knee lifts

.

Tuesday

50 jumping jacks

20 bicycla crunches

10 push ups

20 lunges

.

Wednesday

30 minutes of cardion of your choice

.

Thursday

20 mountain climbers

20 star jumps

20 calf raises

10 squat thrusts

.

Friday

jog in place 45 seconds

30 crunches

20 jumping jacks

20 side step toe touches

.
and Skei. STOP READING MOST OF THESE! XD
not for your eyes
Moving on again.
FASTFASTFASTFASTFASTFASTFAST
Goodnight:)
x

Morning all.. Even though its 10 o'clock [40]

Arghh.
Okay, heres the deal.
I'm now at 147. A pound away from having lost a whole stone.
I am still going over my calorie limit so I am going to fast Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday, then get back to the usual ABC.
I had the realisation today that I am tan and a half stone!
Haha, but yes.
I'm basically killing myself. Too much work to do, and I'm a HUGE percrastinator.
I'm hoping to loose a couple of pounds this week... considering I keep eating too much and now I'm going to starve.
wish me luck. I'm tired now.
x

*Sigh* [39]

I want to dissapear into the night.
Do you think I'll get away with that?
I need help.
In all manners.
I need help to stay away from things, I need help with work, I need help with stress, I need help with relationships... I need help with everything.
.
My solutions so far?
For One, Say I'm ill.
For two, getting Skei and my mum to help me with coursework.
For three, 'happy pills'.
For four... nothing. Unfortunetly.
.
My usual solutions are to take pain killers, smoke a fag and cut myself. Probably not the best idea but I couldnt care less.
.
I'm seeing improvements. Even though I'm no my period, I'm 147.5.
.
Yeah I have no enthusiasm today. I'm just annoied that I cant come up with places and ways to meet new people. Prefferably with more guys, coz I get along better with them. I'll have to Google some shit later.
.
I may breakdown before my exams take place from now on. I did before my German speaking. Apparently I got an A.
.
I want a fucking huge box. For all my stuff I dont want my mum to see. With a HUGE lock on it. I need to figure how to earn some money too. Or I shall be fucked. Dunno how. But yes.
.
Sorry, this post has been a bit all over the place in a depressed way.
I'll end this post with something Skei just said about me and my EDNOS.
'I'm worried about it, but I'm happy that its helping you'
Not sure what to think of that one.
x

[38]

I have no social life.
My fucking life is full of obsession.
I have no fucking friends I want to see outside of school.
I have no one I honestly want to see.
I am still not losing fucking weight.
I'm still a pig. Obese. Grotesque.
I'm failing at being a perfectionist.
I'm going to fail my exams.
I'm horribly stressed.
And Dean keeps shoving fucking food in my face!
Fuck. Me.
x

Ow. [36]

Hello All :)

.

Okay Today.. I facking hurt.

This week, disaster for losing weight. -.-

I have to start week two again but hey, I dont mind.

.

This wekk was great for spending some good time with my bootiful Skei. Today I thought I'd finally show you a picture of us! You know, Make it easier for you to picture us and whatnot!

.

I dont think I can take 7 more weeks of school. I'll probably shoot myself. I have a German Speaking Exam on the 9th [My fucking annaversary... 9 moths :)] English homework for Thursday and Sort out a folder for Friday at my Diploma >.<>

.

Skei started a Blog on here too... If you want, Check it out 'The Life Of Skeii'

thelifeofskei.blogspot.com

Bless Him :3

.

I do love him. I made him cry 3 days in a row! Bless. Yeah I wont go on... I might cry myself.

.

Skeii.... I LOVE YOU SO FUCKING MUCH!

.

End.

haha :)

Urhm. Well tbh I dont have alot to say!

.

Much Love to all Who read this XD

.

Honestly.

I love you

x

Holidays -.- [35]

Wheyheyy Its Teh HOLIDAYS!

-.-

Skei says 'Hi'. Yeah, I'm showing Skei around my world of EDNOS! WOO! -.-

He's a little clueless :D

HAHA he had absolutely no reaction to me typing that either :3

but anyway.

Skei's making me fat -.- Well.. I've lost inches from my hips, thighs, upperarm, forearm and my wrists again. WTF!

seriously... I didnt think you could lose inches from your wrists!!!! ...

Skei just suggested I type 'I blame Skei' but I dont. I blame him for making my waist bigger again. Pig. Scoffing cookies. I only had 2. Probably good really. Hes still THINNER AND LIGHTER THAN ME! I hate him.

No not really.

Only coz he's a skinny mother fucker...

Oh God... "I'm only a skinny mother fucker because I've been where you are... I didn't like it... and went into overload." - Skei.

WTF!!

what does he mean 'where you are'! -.-

Bastard.

"Hating your body, do you understand"

Fucking yes I do.

Blaitantly.

SHUT UP! SKEI! I'M GOING OFF TOPIC!

Now where the fuck was I?

.

Oh Yeah. Skei wants a fucking Moomoos. Its a milkshake you get on the pier in Brighton. I want one actually. but. AHH!

probably, at maximum, 1500 calories. Minimum? Hmm... 800/900.

Skei thinks theres 2 calories in them. Tard.

Hes such a girl. Who likes kinky school girl fantasies.. even though hes 15. Ehem. He probably likes the sexy librarian too... Urhh >.< 'Oh yeah! Miss Duck!' - Skei

[That's our school librarian. With a nose that looks like a duck beak. 'Very sexy!']

.

Moving on.

Me an Skei are just cuddling in the spare room of my mother's boyfriend's flat. I should really give him a name... later. XD

But yes, Skei is in the girls position, leaning on my shoulder. But gets excited when I ask him to measure my bust but then gets disappointed to see the number go down an inch.

HA!

Oh yah! I named his penis Penelope x3

ahahahahahahahahahahahaaa!!

Sorry. You didn't need to know that! XD

.

.

I think that's it again

Oh

I'm seriously a mental case!

And made Skei cry!

He wants to start a blog too..

Bollocks.

Urh. Yeah.

Goodbye All :3

x

Is It Weird... [34]

I've Noticed a few strange needs recently. And obsessions of course.

.

But First. Is It Weird I obsessively cleaned my bathroom toilet yesterday until all I could smell was bleach?

And is it weird that I've become obsessed with my boyfriends weight and measurements?

If It is weird. I'd Like to know. Because honestly, it just hurts.

x

30/5/10 Update [33]

Yess its that dreaded day.

I have done slightly well though I must admit.

.

right so my HW was 160 lbs

whereas now I'm at a CW of 148lbs!

Thats nearly a whole stone!! Just 2 more lbs to go then I'm a stone lighter! Only 3 lbs to go to get to my next target weight! WHOOPEY!

.

And now for the measurements

.

Waist 30 [lost an inch]

Hips 36 [stayed the same-.-]

UnderBust 33 [lost an inch]

Bust 37 [lost an inch]

Upperarm 11 [lost 1/2 inch]

Forearm 8 [lost 1/2 inch]

Wrist 6.5 [lost an inch]

Thigh 19 [lost 1/2 inch]

Calf 13.5 [stayed the same]

Ankle 9 [same]

.

and I cba to do my neck.

And by the way... I didn't know you could lost inches off your wrists!! I thought they were going to stay the same the whole time!

.

Weeeiiiiiiird.

.

ABC diets working for me then ;)

Although next week is going to be a struggle...

I wont be posting next week coz it'll become obvious.

Unless I post in the room I'm staying in at night... Even is Skei sees it I dont care. He knows and he knows that if he tells anyone... Well... Lets just say I've had enough of him, yeah?

Today I'm on 300 calories... and I have friends Coming over. Balls.

.

Well

Thats all I wanted to say XD

Stay Strong Girls and Guys! :D

Until... Some Time Next week or maybe tomorrow morning... XD

x

.

P.S My BMI is now 23.2

and my Waist-to-hip ratio is 0.83 :S I'm at 'moderate Risk'

Fuck

x

I Thoight I'd Give You All Some Thinspo (L) [32]

For All You Emo Lovers ;P And I just tought she looked cool haha!

For You Coupled Up Peoplee and Those Whos Finance Is Teh Fridge XD

Twiggyy

Emma Watson and Maxxie from Skins

[I dont know his name, Sorry.]

Cassiee from skins (L)

And Effy From Skins

Some Songs Maybe?

Addicted - Kelly Clarkson

Beautiful - Bathany Dillon

Beauty From Pain- Superchick

Big Isn't Beautiful - King Adora

Bleed Like Me - Garbage

Blow Away - Staind

Breathe Again - Too Sorry For Apologies

Breathe Me - Sia

Bulimic - The Used

Cars and Calories - Saves The Day

Courage - Superchick

Crawling - Linkin Park

Daddy's Girl - KJ 52

Disturbia - Rihanna

I Will Not Bow - Breaking Benjamin

I'm So Sick - FlyLeaf

Katie - Missy Higgens

Lucy At The Gym - Jill Sobule

Never Good Enough - Rachel Ferguson

Numbers - Pompeii

Over and Over - Three Days Grace

Pain - Three Days Grace

Perfect - FlyLeaf

Raining Again - Staind

She's Falling Apart - Lisa Loeb

Skin and Bones - FooFighters

Skinny - Filter

Someone I Once Knew - Dead Celebrity Status

Sugar Cane - Missy Higgens

Curse OF Curves - Cute Is What We Aim For

Theres A Class For That - Cute Is What We Aim For

[I Got These Off Of The Blog 'Letters From Ana' I hope Thats Okay?]

Think Thin Girls

Stay Strong

x

FML [31]

I hate birthdays.

My Garanddad's birthday today. 66 years old. HUGE chocolate cake. Had 2 pieces. Some healthier chinese food, a donette and a cookie. Bad, bad girl. At least tomorrow I'm only eating 100 cals tomorrow, I love the ABC diet. I'm not going into school either. CBA!! I wouldnt be doing anything interesting anyway. Stuck in Learning Support Unit all day sorting out work. Honestly, I can do that at home. This way I have all day to try to burn off the calories consumed today (somewhere in the 2,000 section >.<). I am honestly going to try really hard tomorrow, Saturday (even though I''m stuck in the capital for the day) and some of Sunday. I'll have to weigh and all that after mon lobly friends leave. Man, Li and Skei. Me and Li are going to put make up on man and Skei and do their hair and me and Li are going to be all man-ish! XD hahahahahahahaaa!!

.

I'm so weird.

We're going to watch 'Camp Blood' as well and take the piss at how craply made it is. Probably watch some of Scary movie aswell. I have like 5 scary movie films. They're good.

Anyway.

.

Like todays Thinspo? I dooo! Emma Watson. She is honestly, in my opinion, beautiful. She looks amazing in anything. From glitzy dresses and heels to jeans and trainers. Her face is elegant. Curves in the perfect places and the perfect amount of bustiness and hips. Jelous.

I'm staring an actual Thinspo journal. Filled with exercises. Well. So far.

.

Oh God. I still have to pack for next week. Skei is stuck sleeping with me for about 5 nights. And spending nearly everyday with me. He's gonna be so pleased. No seriously, He loves the idea! I just dont like the thought of showering at my mum's boyfriend's flat. Just weirds me out a little.

.

I've nearly got back to 149. One pound off. I can get rid of that by Sunday... right? Or more?

God.

Okay.

I'm actually knackered!

I'll leave you all at this.

Before I die on my laptop.

x

ABC Day 3 [30]

Okay, ABC, going well.

My current attitude to life? 'Lets Fuck Up Some People!'

I know. I've gone off the walls again. Breaking as many promises possible.

Ones I've broken:

Smoked again

Cut Again

Promises I'm Likely To break:

Smoke Weed with out Skei there

Kiss another guy

And The me inside has shrivelled and died inside me. Making me careless and hateful. And the ABC is giving me something to be good at since I am obviously a thick cow. Getting a D in Maths and a F in Religious Studies. Although I got 2 marks off a B in my German Listening exam and a C in my Science. I found out something amazing the other day. I can get bloated on 500 calories. I think it was the omelet. I don't really like omelets that much... I think that's what bloated me. Especially since I scoffed it.

I bought a book starring an ED! 'LoveSick'. i might write a review on here about it when I'm done. I also want to read 'Purge', the plot to both books seem very interesting to me, that's why I want to read them. Not just coz they're about EDs. I also watched 'Sharing The Secret' a little while back, I found it okay. A little too glamorised to me. I mean, even if your mum knew you were Bulimic, you wouldn't purge right in front of her! I found that a bit weird. But if anyone has a suggestion of a book of film about or including issues on EDs please tell me, I'm interested. It's a good distraction too! Haha!

God, People piss me off. Zanerr is amazingly oblivious at my times of need. Skei had a huge go at her for saying mine and his relationship has been shit for months (what does she know -.-) and she was going on and on saying things like, 'all I said was to treat her properly!' and when Skei said shes not there when her friends need her she totally miss took it as him. No one else, except him and said, 'You don't come to me with your problems!' he said something about a church (?) and she got the idea wrong there too. 'That's because you asked me out and I didn't want to go out with you!' but he meant the time he was dumped. And through all of that, she didn't even think that maybe I needed her sometime recently. My dog died and she didn't even acknowledge it.

Then there's some shit about when I hit Bambi really hard coz she kept hitting me and it fucking pissed me off, that her and that lot of people I don't like anymore were mimicking my twitches.

And earlier today, the emo lot basically invaded the Metal Head's space (yeah I hang with metal heads. Even though I'm not one for too much metal) for no apparent reason and were pissing us off standing over our bags. As I walked away I heard them say my name (pretty fucking loudly) and turn back round to say 'Huh? I heard someone mention my name?' they were all quite and looked at me. Prats. 'No? Fine, Whatever.' and went to have a toke.

I nicked good ol' Lee's fag. well one of them. A straight and not a rollie this time. I almost forgot how great it felt to smoke! corr, relaxed me!

but anyway. I think that's all I want to rant about today. I may go into some in depth detail next blog about something. I dunno what yet. Ha.

*Sigh*

Good Luck All

With Weight Loss, Life and whatever else there is in your busy, busy lives!

x

AhhYouFuggin'FattyFood [29]

Fuuuuuuuuuuck!
The weather is niiiiiiiiice. Although a bit hot for my liking. Heat rash and all. But my forearms are already reasonably tanned. Legs? Pale as ever. Stomach? Not allowed out from under the safety of my tops.

Gym currently equals difficulty. Dont go that often, meaning I frazzle out quickly. Except today I've progressed. Managed 15 minutes on the tredmill building up speed, getting close to 7mph. Woo! Except I'm a fuck up in maths. Got a D on my mock test. Shit. Oh well. Fuck me, aye?

I'm obsessed with the first two seasons of Skins. It was better than the new ones. They actually explored issues and not go over board on sex and drugs. And I LOVE Cassie. I can relate to her the most out of the girls, for obvious reasons, and I think she's gorgeous. I wish I looked like her... Or Effy. Shes gorgeous too! I'm totally getting thinspo of those two!

Started ABC tooday. Doing well, so far consumed around 200 calories and going to have a 300 calorie omlette later. It might be less calories because I dont think I could consume a 3 egg spanish omlette... Might be too big. So around 210 cals in that. ltogether 410 calories around abouts today. Wow. I'm only allowed, maximum of 500 calories today and tomorrow then I think its 300 and etc.
But because its varied, I think I'll be able to stick to it better.
Haaa... Watching Skinsa makes me wanna be like Tony. Yanno, get close to people then fuck them up. I'm going to work on that. I know a few people I could fuck up but with others... I'm not sure.
Heyho
Wish me luck on being a bitch to people!
Haha!!
x