The Thought Track To The Perfect Girl...

TheFatherOfLies Says:
-very pretty
-adorable
-cares about what I think
-always up for it ;)
-eyes that can melt my soul
-soft sweet lips
-long hair
.
Thats a short list of Skei's perfect girl.
I'm not like that. Why does he want me?
-I'm ugly, or at least average
-I'm a lunatic
-I'm a bitch.
-I never want to do it because I'm too fat and ugly.
-My eyes are... meh.
-I have thin lips for a girl.
-I cut my hair short.
WHY DOES HE LIKE ME? And here we go again, Do I like him? God damn the fact I have no idea how I'm supposed to feel if I'm in love. Am I supposed to have butterflies, because I don't have them. I just dont know! I want to be with Skei, because fuck knows how hard I've tried to keep him. I dont deserve anyone to love me... Is it bad that I can see a life with out Skei in it?
.
How do you guys feel about your love interests?

"I'm a vegetarian and I ain't fuckin' scared of him" 3OH!3 - Dont Trust Me

Little Rant From G

Hello, this is G.
Kodii's other personality.
Yes I am a guy.
.
I have to rant right now before I attempt to kill Skei or hurt this body.
Right, I'm seriously gonna start head butting things if Skei doesn't listen to me and keeps going on and on about being a fuck up. Yes, fucking well done you're a fuck up. DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!
He fucking says he's had the money and ideas to make things up to Kodii but he goes and spends it on drugs coz he's scared she wont like it. Aren't relationships all about taking chances and trying your hardest to show how you feel? He just hurts Kodii more by taking all these fucking drugs, trying to hide it, then Kodi either finds out or he accidently tells her.
Heres a few promises he's made to her.
-Stop smoking
-stop drugs
-stop cutting
.
And guess what, he still does them all but has cut back on cutting. then he threatens me that if I touch him again he's going to break my neck. Haha, brilliant, trying to get back at me when I'm defending his girlfriend and I'm actually in her fucking body. Brilliant, brilliant threat right there.
And he decides that we dont love them. Obviously I do since I uh fucking proposed to one of Skei's other personalities! Obviously Kodii does seeing as she uh, gave him her virginity, draw things for him every few weeks, tries to celebrate every month anaversary... you get the idea.
And now with him saying shit like this, Kodii wants to kill herself. Again. You know, three times she's been talking to him in the process of killing herself. Every time she;s stopped short of it just to apologise to him for everything she's done.
My God.
She's managed to stop cutting herself for a few months now and is screaming at me to end it for her (I'm not going to just so you know.) And now I have a feeling Skei is SLEEPING in HER BED.
.
He hasn't spoken for a good hour now so I'm guessing he has.
.
My list of today is
3 things you hate the most.
1 technically not exhisting
2 only exhisting in Kodii's body and mind
3 The way Kodii is treated by, I dunno, fucking everybody?
.
Thank you for letting me rant, hopefully next time Kodii will be back to post.
If not, Either me (G), Syke or Ana will post and tell you how she is and whotnot.
Fucking good bye.
Cross your fingers I dont kill anybody!
x

I Live For You Guys Now

Hey everyone.

Right first, thanks for the comments about my drawing :) and yeah I LOVE OHSHC too, I've watched them all and now reading them XD

And the picture today is a really old one I gave to Skei for Christmas or his borthday... Or randomly I cant remember.

But onto todays antics.

I tried to kill myself again.

I know, brilliant aint I? Although I dont think I'll die on 10 pain killers (5000 mg or whatever), I've taken more variety before but maybe I'll wake up dead. Who knows! If I dont post tomorrow, I died.

Reason for another attempt suicide: Skei

Again. I know. Now, its my fault he's grounded for the rest of summer (4 weeks) because I said I wanted my stuff back, he took it as 'I wanna break up' he fucked off without trace and got high, attempting to kill himself too, my mum alerted his family to his non-exhistance and yeah. He's home now, hopefully not dead. If I find out he died, I'm deffinetly jumping off of some form of cliff or high building or stepping out onto the motor way.

My mum's taking me over to his tomorrow to get my things I wanted back (great chance to talk to him) and my mums gonna butter up his family into letting me go over to his occationally and let him come to a comedy gig in like 2 days. I haven't seen Skei in a week (well over really) so I really need contact with him (physical -as in kisses - nothing dirty you naughty people). Mostly, I just wanna hug. 4 weeks he'll doubtfully be sleeping over mine again, so I might just kill myself anyway coz I have no friends, except Manny but he'll be fine.

My eyes hurt, my head hurts, my back hurts and I dont wanna sleep, watch t.v or anything. I just wanna hear Skei's voice again.

Oh yah! Doesn't help that todays OUR ANNAVERSARY.

Everything shit happens on our anaversarries.

11 months btw.

God, I hate God. He should go die in one of those dog shit bins. Seriously.

Right I dunno what I'm going to do, probably sort out what I'm gonna give Skei tomorrow (coz he's left stuff at mine he needs) and balls...

Stupid therapy tomorrow morning. Fucks sake. I'm gonna talk to her about subscribing me pills, I really need them. I feel like one of those dog shit bins constantly.

Woo. I'm a dog shit bin.

And I'm still fat, even if I'm someone's goal weight, I'm still huge.

And I realised something whilst reading Yum's blog.

I wanna look sickly too... Which is kinda scary.

Maybe I'll know when to stop?

Either way I'm gonna die sooner or later.

I love you, You're my sunshine on a shitty dog bin-ish day!

x