My posing has been.. erratic. Although its disheartening that no one comments anymore.. I seem o have gotten more followers but less commenter's. I do hope you guys leave some comments, they keep me going, keep me connected..
He noticed. Skei noticed I'd been cutting. He said nothing, until the music was on in the car and Manny had been dropped off. He'd known the whole night. He thought they were all his fault. Dont flatter yourself darling, you dont deserve this much blood to be spilled because of you.
"Not all of them, just the deep ones" I answered. I supposed thats worse. The more superficial ones that bled but barley were the only ones I'd accidentally shown him, they barley hurt. The deep ones took a lot more anguish to make. He caused that, he feels guilty. He better. Because if he keeps blaming me for things that aren't my fault, then I'm leaving. I'm not going to be verbally abused into believing its my fault...
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I've made a religious choice. I'm going to become a Jashinist. I got it off Naruto, Googled, found out its real. A daily sacrifice of my own blood to show Jashin I am a trustworthy follower, and to pray to him in awkward times. I'm sure this is going to be interesting.
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I dont think I'm doing badly on the weight issue. I found this morning I was 147.6 even after me and Kayla ate shit. I think the amount of walking we did burned a lot off. And today I had a few chocolates, 2 diet cokes and a vegetarian subway. Corr, I love subway. Honestly my new favourite food. I've only got 15 days left to get to 140. I've decided to fast the rest of January away, I will keep this. I haven't got time at school to eat and I'll stay in my room doing homework, facebook, reading, sleeping whatever it takes to avoid eating. It's only 15 days.
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My mother and I are going to see the Black Swan on Friday when its in cinemas. I think we'll also see the royal ballet of Swan Lake in London at the end of March. I saw it advertised in a magazine. I've never watched a ballet, so I think it'd be a great new experience.
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I've got a fairly awesome hairstyle. My mum did it. Its 2 french braids from either side of my head joining together in the middle leaving my fringe out. I want to have it that way at school so I'm wearing my silk scarf on my head to see if I can actually keep my hair the way it is.
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I'll be catching up on blogs tomorrow I guess, I got my usual Internet phobia.
Wish me luck in my Science exam.
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'I got through this day no one saw through my games' - SuperChick - Courage
Love you <3
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