Monday, 19 July 2010

I Am SPARTAAA! Oops.. I Mean Ill. [50 something]

My God. I haven't posted in donkey's years!
Okay.. a few days.. but still.
I convinced my mum I'm perfectly fine and do not have bulimia...
BUT I got ill.
*boo hiss!*
And I got myself another apointment at the doctors to hopefully speed up the waiting list at that mental health place.
-I still see and hear things that arent there
-I've tried to kill myself some more
-I've cut myself some more
-I inflict pain on myself when I'm pissed off (usually head butting walls..)
-high street pills DONT HELP WHAT SO EVER
-I officially hate everything
-I officially dont care about my own safety
-I still cant sleep
So the conclution is:
Gimme some fucking pills and send me to a psychiatrist. Fiona specifically asked if there was a psychiatrist at this mental health place and I was like 'I have no idea', she said that she has/had ( i cant remember which) one and it really helped.. I'm guessing its different to counselling?
Oh yeah my weight has been fluctuating between... 10st 10 lbs (150lbs) and 10st 5 lbs (145lbs) which pisses me off. I am on the SG diet though...
Wish me luck considering I'm such a fat slag.
Oh I was told something strange by Skei the other day... That loads of people tell HIM that I'M pretty. Thanks for the notice. Why do people tell everyone else that they're gonna beat me up or that I'm pretty and dont gove me the news? Half the people I dont even talk to, a third I've never met, One I've only met a few times and the last time I saw him I was soaking wet from the rain and the others were friends who occationally say I'm pretty or have NEVER told me that. And apparently Skei's bestfriend Tomis in love with me.. Well I doubt he's in love with me but hes a really great guy who I've let groap me and I've kissed before... The groaping was before I went out with Skei and I was trying to cheer him up XD hahahaa I have weird ways of cheering people up!

Huuh... Well I'm done. I'm bored.
I might ditch school again tomorrow.
and to the new followers
We should get drunk sometime!
Ignore that.
I lave you anyway XD


  1. Yup, you need the help little sister. I mean that in the NICE way, not the sarcastic mean and nasty way! D: I'm hoping someone tries to help you before it's too late. (Which is when they usually try to give help)

    I hope you get better soon. Fuck yeah THIS IS SPARTAAAAAAAAAAA! I have to watch that movie again!

    <3 Love you, hun. Ride safe!

  2. Glad you are back! You're English right, you use stones? I use that too but I convert it for my blog because everyone seems to be american ^.^

    Love that film <3 xoxo