Thursday, 17 February 2011

Just itting Back, Watching My Life Crash Down... Burning...

I can see the cracks in my life being forced open with bloodstained hands. Bruised knuckles, stinging scrapes, and searing pain through out my body as I try so hard to keep my world from falling apart again.

It doesn't work.

Right now life's a bit on the poo side. Lets start with Monday. Skei has a new girlfriend. Apparently she's ugly and a slag. Aha! Me and Kitty are weirdly connecting again... I guess it's because me and Skei aren't together.
Everyone is on my side though, which is good. People think it was too soon for him to move on from our year and nearly a half relationship. Apparently he said to someone that he dumped me because he wasn't getting enough sex. Hm.
So really right now I'm rather angry. With a dollop of depressed. Bordering on mental state. But generally very very happy.
He said to me today that he and this girl just clicked, the way we apparently didn't. We were too difficult. Why does he decide to steal my words and use them against me? But the first bit upset me. So I nearly cried infront of Manny and Ted. But because Manny is so brilliant, he cheered me up. And said he's not worth it, etc. which I agree with.

I'm too good for him.

And if he has actually decided to read this then, fucking hell whatta time for you to blogger stalk me again. And right now, I HATE YOUUUUUU! :)

Oh and last weekend me and Rhii were talking about our plans on going to Australia. Yeah, gone out the window. We're putting it off for a few years. When we have money.

And about 20 minutes ago, I found out that my Dad is selling his flat and moving in with Tina. Basically fucking me over with my previous plans for college. Thanks, dick head! I shouldn't call you my Father! He's not going to (or as he says, 'cant') pay for my trip to Cornwall with the school, or a Performing Arts programme at the end of the summer holidays, which costs £800 all together which includes food and boarding. But he's going to pay £100 towards my prom dress, even though he didn't think I was going to prom. Prat.

So my life is being tipped upside down again. I'm being tested.
Thanks to the lack of money my Dad will fork over, Me and Mum are doubtfully going to France in Summer. And I was really fucking looking forward to that.

But on a lighter note. I'm a very good descriptive writer according to my English teacher. I'll post my recent homework on soon so you can have a read.

Urm, sure. I dont know what that accent is but OKAY! I feel really bad for not commenting or whatever on your blog :( but it's nearly half term so I'll get a chance to catch up! Thanks for the monologue suggestion, I'll Google it XD
WOOHOO! I can sleep on your couch! You can sleep on mine too! But I live in the middle of no where. Maybe in a few years when I live in London ;D and It'll be a few years until I get a chance to travel to places like New Zealand. But I'll definitely take up that offer ;D
Awh I've been thinking about you too, scary huh? Hm.. by the seems of my reply we'd be better off as e-mail buddies harharr

@Everyone else. I'm going to stalk you in the half term. Expect some comments SOON!

P.S I'm going to see Justin Bieber's new film tomorrow with Manny! HARHARHARR!

You guys give me a second reason to live. I love you.


  1. I reckon Skei is on a rebound and saying ANYTHING he can to make you hurt. The Boy is still saying shit like that to me after two years! He's being a total tosser. Ignore it and look after yourself, ok?

    Holy CRAP life seems to be dumping on us both atm! I've got bike, cat and knee issues all wanting to nom the money I don't have. AUGH!!We have to look back on this over a pint and laugh ourselves stupid.

    I should do post-grad study or something. Tailgunner is spending 2 months in England later this year doing more research and presenting a paper. I'm sooooooo jealous! Lock up your Jaffa Cakes, Tailgunners coming!

    I can't wait to read your stuff. Lol, should I post up my essays from this summer school paper so you have something interesting to read in the holidays? :p

    Take care, sis! xoxoxoxoxoxo

  2. Hello girls I have returned to blogger after trying to lose weight the healthy way and developing a better mental health I gave up I threw it all away to become "Delicate!!" Threw all my hard work away so I could eat from one extreme to another, to get to my goals quicker!! As many of us do we give up and think it will be easier and quicker to try a stupid diet which you only end up binging and back to square one!!

    I am ashamed of my choices and want to continue down my path of being healthy!! I can not believe I nearly threw it all away!! I have decided to give it my all 100% and nothing less!! I will reach my GOALS but in a HEALTHY way!!

    I too want to look great in a Bikini, in that Little Party Dress, in those CK Jeans but I want to ROCK them without feeling GUILTY, without LYING to all those around me and to not be KILLING MYSELF in the process!! I want to look HOT in ULTIMATE HEALTH and HAPPINESS, I want to have AWESOME SELF ESTEEM and I want to ROCK CONFIDENCE!! I want to earn the JOY of achieving HEALTH - HAPPINESS - SELF ESTEEM and CONFIDENCE the right way not the wrong way!! I want this more than anything in LIFE and I am going to get it !! It is now or never, there is no looking back!! Please support me and I will return the favor!! I choose to follow girls with distorted eating as I feel they understand what I am going through compared to "normal eating" girls they just think I am crazy!!

    I am putting this every where because I know I will influence at least one person out in this great big world to never give up and to keep trying!!

  3. Ahaha Justin Bieber. :L

    Sorry I haven't been commenting, honey, I promise I will again now though :)

    Skei and your dad sound like twats. You're right; you are SO much better than them.