Good Girl? Okay?

I'm in a lesbian mood today... I think its because of my period? Do you guys get that? Or am I just extremely weird? XD
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Yet another body I am jealous of!
Although my best thinsperation is at school. Some girls are just grotesque (ehem.. Kitty) And I feel normal sized (or at least in proportion compared to them) and some random compliments occasionally XD
Like 'You have really nice legs!'
Tbh.. isn't that a weird thing to say? 'I want your legs!'
Okayy... well I'm not giving them to you?! o.O
HAHA! Even worse one I get, 'I want your boobs!'
Err, sure you do?! x.x
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Oh yes, I'm a good girl. I've actually STARTED doing the coursework I was given before summer XD
Done one piece, started reading 'Lord of the Flies'. Apparently its a gruesome book (Says my Gran XD) about kids turning cannibal... well lets hope it puts me off my lunch!! :D
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But I haven't made corrections for my Citizenship. I might just ask Carpet (my Mum's boyfriend XD) to do it as he's the one basically writing it for me haha!
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OMG.
I'm nearly 16... o.O
Feels so weird! Unfortunately I cant drive... but I can FUCK! XD Paha! And I'm applying for some type of ID so I can go to concerts with out needing to take my facking(that mistake is on purpose ;]) passport with me! WOO! And I signed up for a Tesco clubcard... I'm so cool! XD I've got all sorts of soppy cards for saving money at places now! All in preparation for living with my Dad for two-three years! o.o I have so much I need to move out though! But I'm gonna be nice and let my mum keep some DVDs I have XD lovely ain't I? Oh and I'm gonna let her take a picture of me on the morning of my first day starting year 11(My final year!!)... Coz her and my Gran always complain they don't have any pictures of me at my age. Well duh!
I'm a teenager, we stay away from family camera flashes!
Ha, teenagers are like Vampires or Owls.
Owls.
We sleep all day coz we were up all night on the computer or (the ones who have a social life) partying.
I'm the computer one. Obvs. -.-'
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My back huuurts :( GAY PERIOD.
Oh... Irony.
If you don't get it then look what I said at the beginning of this post!!
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Faack I rambled alot today!!
OHOHOH
List for today.
3 random facts about yourself!
1- I read all of my blog posts at least twice. Once before I post and once after.
2- I have an Anorexic friend I intend on fattening up when school starts coz she's been in hospital too many times. Makes me sad. I promise its a good thing XD
3- I never had any imaginary friends as a kid. My toys were my friends. TT_TT
.
Okay there's mine!
I hope you don't leave me coz of how weird they are XD
I lave you!
Oh btw...
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You're all beautiful!
Or hot if you're a guy XD
x

Currently In A Good Mood (I Know SHOCKING!)

Ah, I've decided for the next 4 months and 3 days I'm going to try and get a calorie deficite of minimum 500 calories. Because if I can maintain that minimum for the 4 months and 3 days I will apparently loose EIGHT-TEEN POUNDS!!! And instead of being horrible 150lbs I'd be 132lbs!!
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So right now I'm going to try the negative-calorie diet until I start school, then I'll go on either MY SGD or the oridginal one! Apparently I burn over 1500 calories just LIVING, so the negative calorie diet for 8 days should be of good use, and when I go on the SGD (which lasts around 20 days) I'll eat lots of fruit and veg especially the negative value ones XD
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WOOHOO!
I'LL BE SKINNY FOR NEW YEAR!!
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Oh yes and I told myself to be truthfully honest with you guys about my new (real) measurements. So here we go...
Neck - 13
UpperArm - 11
Elbow - 9.25
ForeArm - 8
Wrist - 6
Bust - 37
Underbust - 34
Waist - 31
Hipbones - 36.5
Hips(ArseArea) - 37.5
Thigh - 18.5
Knee - 13
Calf - 13
Ankle - 8.75
Weight - 150 lbs
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Is it weird that my neck is the same as my Knee and Calf?? But Woot! I'm loosing inches from my rib area (underbust) before it was probs 38?
But My inches goals to obtain by New Years are only a couple of inches different, and kind of realistic to the goal weight loss and the shape of my body. I think the biggest inch difference in my goals is for my waist at only 3 inches. And my arse area takign away about 2.5 inches so hopefully it'll be do able XD
Does it sound realistic?
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Meh anyway I'll just leave now :)
Shit... List... x.x
Uhm..
3 current goals you have, doesn't have to be related to weight loss XD
1 lose minimum 15lbs by new years
2 get high grades in my GCSE's
3Get into a good college
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FIN!
X

Little Rant From G

Hello, this is G.
Kodii's other personality.
Yes I am a guy.
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I have to rant right now before I attempt to kill Skei or hurt this body.
Right, I'm seriously gonna start head butting things if Skei doesn't listen to me and keeps going on and on about being a fuck up. Yes, fucking well done you're a fuck up. DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!
He fucking says he's had the money and ideas to make things up to Kodii but he goes and spends it on drugs coz he's scared she wont like it. Aren't relationships all about taking chances and trying your hardest to show how you feel? He just hurts Kodii more by taking all these fucking drugs, trying to hide it, then Kodi either finds out or he accidently tells her.
Heres a few promises he's made to her.
-Stop smoking
-stop drugs
-stop cutting
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And guess what, he still does them all but has cut back on cutting. then he threatens me that if I touch him again he's going to break my neck. Haha, brilliant, trying to get back at me when I'm defending his girlfriend and I'm actually in her fucking body. Brilliant, brilliant threat right there.
And he decides that we dont love them. Obviously I do since I uh fucking proposed to one of Skei's other personalities! Obviously Kodii does seeing as she uh, gave him her virginity, draw things for him every few weeks, tries to celebrate every month anaversary... you get the idea.
And now with him saying shit like this, Kodii wants to kill herself. Again. You know, three times she's been talking to him in the process of killing herself. Every time she;s stopped short of it just to apologise to him for everything she's done.
My God.
She's managed to stop cutting herself for a few months now and is screaming at me to end it for her (I'm not going to just so you know.) And now I have a feeling Skei is SLEEPING in HER BED.
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He hasn't spoken for a good hour now so I'm guessing he has.
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My list of today is
3 things you hate the most.
1 technically not exhisting
2 only exhisting in Kodii's body and mind
3 The way Kodii is treated by, I dunno, fucking everybody?
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Thank you for letting me rant, hopefully next time Kodii will be back to post.
If not, Either me (G), Syke or Ana will post and tell you how she is and whotnot.
Fucking good bye.
Cross your fingers I dont kill anybody!
x

Errrr?

Okay.
Please. Someone SHOUT AT ME I'M A BAD BAD GIRL!!
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I suck at fasting -.- Caved into a cookie (thanks to Skei) and just pigged out on Mac and CHEESE??!!
My God I'm A HUUUUUGE FATTIE!!
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So.. Shout At me!
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I WILL FAST FOR 4 DAYS THOUGH!!
=.= (Determined face)
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Uhm... Right well.
To new followers who haven't bothered to read my character list: I may be getting checked out, but I cant and wont say yes as SKEI is my boyfriend. Just thought I'd clear that up! Incase people didn't know!
Oh and I made a character name mistake last time x.x T and G... No.. Its T and Gaz. Sorry guys XD
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I did my first yoga class todayy!!
It sucked.
It was full of old people who could do MORE THAN ME!
WTF! I'm supposed to be flexable? Fucking hell do I hurt!
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*sigh* Well heres my food plan.
I shall fast for 4 days (til monday) And then move onto my version of Skinny Girl Diet! Basically I halfed the calories so I'd eat less shit and be forced to eat fruit!
Thats like... 3 ish weeks long... I keep forgetting where I left my booklet with it in so I'm not sure. But I WILL FAST =.=
FASTFASTFASTFASTFAST...
I just realised if you type fast wrong it could be 'Fats'
Ironic.
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I've also set up exercises to do each day on my SGD so hopefully I'll loose weight FAST
See what I did there?
No? Okay.. :(
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Oh God, I dont want school to start in about 2 and a half weeks!! I have course work to do and a book to read for English! GAHH!!
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But I CBAAAA!!!
Coz, as you all know...
I'M A LAZY FATTIEEE!!
WOO
RUN FATTIE RUN!!
GAHHH!!!
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I have no lists for you... I'll think of one!!!!
*thinks*
Top 3 people you couldn't live with out!!
1Skei.. (feel special BIYATCH)
2Mannyy XD
3All those sexy people out there! My Thinspo's basically XD
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Spaz list :3
I'll leave before you get TOO scared of me
Again
I'm sorry! I'll stop!
x

I'M BEING CHECKED OUT??????

Ahahahahaa!!

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My God I never thought I'd say that!

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Okay it started at the wedding where I got drunk, the two guys around my age who I got friendly with (thanks to Skei) later in the night (After being rather wasted and T puking a rainbow XD) told me they were both proper checking me out when they first saw me and were doing their weird little signal to eachother meaning they thought I was hot.

.

Oh.

My.

GOD!

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I've never been checked out before! They said they thought I was like 18 (urhh like 2 and a bit years off bbe XD) and the reason they thought I was hot was coz..

-I have nice legs

-I looked cool in my skinnies

-I have a nice bum

-I have a nice face

-I have big boobs

I mean SERIOUSLY?? 2 guys thought(well think..) I'm hot?? And haha... I slept in the same bed as T and Skei... Both in their underwear... teehee ^-^ I feel slightly whore-ish (Yeah Peri You have a point ;]) And T was the Hot one.. G was the short shubby one. Who's room I got changed in before we even spoke XD He was shocked when he found that out. And I was the first girl to stay in his room ;) PAHAHA! I'M SO COOL! XD

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And today in Iceland (the food shop..) This kinda hot guy was checking me out when I was standing with my Gran (PAHA!) I guessed he was checking me out because he was looking at me until he passed me. And he made full 3 second eye contact with me.

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Corr... Am I hot now??? Wow. I don't feel it... But I like the attention XD

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Anyway. I was shocked when I saw the increase in Followers. FANKS PrettyWreck<3>(Btw can someone tell me how to link to other bloggers on my blog? I'm sucha retard)

.

And to whoever likes lists... I LIKE THEM TOO!

Todays list!

5 Favourite possesions. Not people... You don't own people. Well... I don't myabe you do?

Anyway..

1Laptop<3

2My only size 8 shorts

3My Huge comfy trainers that are battered

4My phone...

5My little stuffed toy dog Poppy :3

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WOO!...

?

I dont know.

One final notice... I'm going to attempt to fast. Yeah. Not much hope really, aspecially for 5 days... BUT I WILL TRY HARD

Ah...

Well... Sayonara <3

x

Coz I'm Lyke Uberr Cool XD

Hey XD
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Right, To the people who commented my last blog.
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GOOD ON YOU MOTHER FUCKERSS!!
To everyone else... Fucking comment this one bitches -.-
But yes, I'm glad that at least 3 people did what I asked XD all unique and inventive so I feel like a not so individual person.
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Moving on.
WOO WEDDING DRINK FEST XD
I'll go into detail some other time, but I drank a lot. I've probably gone back up to 160lbs knowing me. (Okay that's a bit too much to put on in a night... like... 15lbs too much XD)
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I have another activity for today.
a list of food that you love but is uber bad for you (list of up to 5 XD) and a list of your go to diet foods which are healthy and may taste good or horrible (again, up to 5)
XD
List one:
1 Any form of pudding
2 Alcohol (You can put drinks too XD)
3 Chips/Crisps
4 Ice cream/lollies
5 Bread and butter
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List two:
1 Apples and bananas
2 WATERRRRRR (L)
3 Diet drinks and juice
4 eggs
5 Skimmed milk
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there's my list, have fun!
I'm gonna do more of these XD there fun and get you're lazy arses to COMMENT ;)
I lave you though
You know that obvs.
;)
x

Friday 13th O.o

Okay, seeing as today isn't really a lovely day for most people and also considering my mood and the mood of everyone around me... Where was I?
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Oh yes.
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I want everyone who comments to make a list of things they like about themselves!
feel free to go into as much detail as you like, you can write about personality, looks, or accomplishments!
I'm gonna stick with looks, coz I don't wanna ramble.
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So I'm gonna sound vein XD
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I like:
-My hair
-My eyes
-The fact my nose hasn't got a bump in it
-My fairly straight teeth
-My shoulders
-My wrists
-My legs (although not so much)
-my ankles
-my feet (btw, they got a size smaller. WTF)
-My bum XD
-My glasses (even though they aren't me)
-My style
I think that's it?
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But really try hard to find at least 5 things you like about your appearance coz for me that's usually the hardest place for me to find things but I've done well today XD
I love you
You're all sexy
GoodBye!
x

Jesus You CARE?!?!

Wow you guys care?!?!
I'm so happy :3
Oh yeah. I didn't die
*thumbs up*
But I was almost forced to have a blood test *shiver* coz I over dosed and told the stupid lady at therapy. So my mum knows (Fuckbollocksarseshit) aaaaand good thing I only took paracetamol or I'd have had a blood text *shiver number 2*
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But anyway, I fixed up my life so I'm okay. Again. I'm so fucking indecisive!
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Moving on. Thanks you guys on commenting about my drawings XD makes me feel like I'm good at something!! Today's picture I drew astonishingly long ago so my style has changed (kinda matured really XD) since then, and all the pictures I've put up are quite old, I just haven't gotten round to sorting my new ones out! So when I can be arsed, I'll do it.
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And GUYS! SERIOUSLY?
I make you guys smile?! *blushh* Shucks! ^-^
And haha Peri XD made me laugh, but I need someone to shout sense into me so thank you!
And just thanks to everyone who's actually commented my blog, even some who've only commented once, I like reading your comments XD So please CARRY ON! I LIVE FOR THEM!
*sigh*
Okay, I've calmed down a bit now XD
No.
Fuck! Here I go again!
Hyper Arse Monkey!! XD
Okay. I'll go!
x

I Live For You Guys Now

Hey everyone.

Right first, thanks for the comments about my drawing :) and yeah I LOVE OHSHC too, I've watched them all and now reading them XD

And the picture today is a really old one I gave to Skei for Christmas or his borthday... Or randomly I cant remember.

But onto todays antics.

I tried to kill myself again.

I know, brilliant aint I? Although I dont think I'll die on 10 pain killers (5000 mg or whatever), I've taken more variety before but maybe I'll wake up dead. Who knows! If I dont post tomorrow, I died.

Reason for another attempt suicide: Skei

Again. I know. Now, its my fault he's grounded for the rest of summer (4 weeks) because I said I wanted my stuff back, he took it as 'I wanna break up' he fucked off without trace and got high, attempting to kill himself too, my mum alerted his family to his non-exhistance and yeah. He's home now, hopefully not dead. If I find out he died, I'm deffinetly jumping off of some form of cliff or high building or stepping out onto the motor way.

My mum's taking me over to his tomorrow to get my things I wanted back (great chance to talk to him) and my mums gonna butter up his family into letting me go over to his occationally and let him come to a comedy gig in like 2 days. I haven't seen Skei in a week (well over really) so I really need contact with him (physical -as in kisses - nothing dirty you naughty people). Mostly, I just wanna hug. 4 weeks he'll doubtfully be sleeping over mine again, so I might just kill myself anyway coz I have no friends, except Manny but he'll be fine.

My eyes hurt, my head hurts, my back hurts and I dont wanna sleep, watch t.v or anything. I just wanna hear Skei's voice again.

Oh yah! Doesn't help that todays OUR ANNAVERSARY.

Everything shit happens on our anaversarries.

11 months btw.

God, I hate God. He should go die in one of those dog shit bins. Seriously.

Right I dunno what I'm going to do, probably sort out what I'm gonna give Skei tomorrow (coz he's left stuff at mine he needs) and balls...

Stupid therapy tomorrow morning. Fucks sake. I'm gonna talk to her about subscribing me pills, I really need them. I feel like one of those dog shit bins constantly.

Woo. I'm a dog shit bin.

And I'm still fat, even if I'm someone's goal weight, I'm still huge.

And I realised something whilst reading Yum's blog.

I wanna look sickly too... Which is kinda scary.

Maybe I'll know when to stop?

Either way I'm gonna die sooner or later.

I love you, You're my sunshine on a shitty dog bin-ish day!

x

Ahh Some Days XD

Hello Evereh Bodeh :)
Before you start wondering 'Who drew that crappy picture over there?' Yeah it was me. XD
I'm proud of it, so I don't care if someone doesn't like it coz I actually drew it XD so yes.

I have something to say to Fat Ballerina and Thumbellina.
@Fat Ballerina
I love you. Seriously. Made me giggle that you quoted a bit to me, made me smile too so thank you ;)
@Thumbellina
You're comment made me want to cry XD in a good way though. That's a really good idea, trying to find something beautiful in each day, I'll be trying this! Your comment was today's beautiful thing :) I felt loved ^-^ and don't worry, I understood every word.

That's really all I wanted to say. Except Skei is shit at remembering to call me -.-
Oh well.
x

'I'm Never Good Enough'

I'm Not.

I never will be.

You don't love me anymore.

You cant even call me when you promised.

I'm so imperfect.

And full of self loathing.

I'm filled with hatred for myself.

Because I'm not perfect.

My thighs still touch,

My stomach overhangs my jeans.

My ribs are too scared to show themselves to the world.

My hips wobble.

My arms have wings.

I even hate my voice,

When I sing.

I pretend I'm happy.
I hate my face.

My nose is big.

My mouth is small.

I hate that I don't feel tall.

I hate that even though I fake I'm okay,

Everyone sees my non existent self-esteem.

But no one tries to say,

'Its okay, my angel,

It will get better,

I'll always be here.'

Just like a love letter.

One word fills me with anger.

That word eats at me.

People lie to me, tell me I'm pretty, I'm skinny.

They want to see me fail.

I know it.

But it's not gonna stop me.

I wont stop hurting.

I'll keep on torturing myself.

I'll forever ignore your 'compliments'

Because I know they aren't true.

It doesn't matter anymore.

Because You don't love me enough to call.

You weakly tell me I'm beautiful.

Tell me you can see my ribs.

Well it's just fat, and fibs.

I'm locked in side your cage.

Like a little canary bird.

Forced to sing for you all alone.

Until you get away from me.

Free from my moans.

I hate that you affect me so.

I feel like I'm dying.

Slowly. Slowly and painfully.

Nothing works.

Not even the razor you gave me.

No blood.

Not even a scratch.

Please hurt me enough,

To set me free.

I gave you what you wanted.

You don't even seem to care,

or listen, no effort put in.

Not mustered up for one little thing.

Why do we carry on?

Pretending that we're in love?

When everything we do,

Together or apart,

We see the difficulty,

It just breaks our hearts.

My Depressing Poem.
Feel free to commet.
x

Specialists Are Retarded.

Ah. Okay I have a list to speakio abooooot.

1-Counselling

2-Clothes XD

3-Binge days

4-Walking diet plan

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Okay, first I'll talk about the Mental place. Well She told me everything I tell her will be kept a secret except they think I'm going to hurt myself, someone else or I'm in danger of being hurt. hen they tell people. Straight away there My multiple personalities said, 'Well we wont be telling you about us.' and I thought 'Hm. Well that means I'm not going to tell you about my self harm and suicide attempts'

Seriously. Do they think I want my mum to know that? One of my doctors knows, This other mental health lady knows, its not a secret except from my family. I dont want them to get involved with THAT aspect of my possible depression. God. I hate experts and specialists.

.

The other thing (as says above 'Clothes') is that I shockingly managed to squish myself into a UK size 8 pair of shorts (US size 4)... My God? Corr blimey! They were on sale and weren't in a size 10 so tried on the 8s and just about got the button done up. Sure I have over hang (Errrrghh) but THEY FIT! DA DADA DAAAAAAA!! Oh and I got my ears pierced for the first time ever.

Shocking.

Actucally it is shocking if you knew me. I was shit scared of injections, now not so much as long as its away from my veins... and when they were pierced, it actually barley hurt! As my mum said, 'They're just fat!' the earloabs she means XD

.

Now for Bonge days. Well yesterday I met up with KT and we took her home this morning, I drank alot of coke zero, full fat energy drinks, 2 and a bit cookies, 1/3 paket of maryland cookies, a mars bar, half a big bar of kitkat, 3 twix sticks, couple of these cream cake things with chocolate, some doritos, egg sandwich, noodels, cereal and possibly more sweets. tomorrow I'm going back to mostly fruit and small ammounts of other the way Skinny Girl Diet goes.

.

Finally, my walking diet plan.

I wanted to do this a while ago but I had a shitty pedometer that turned off after a while and it was during the school term.

But its summer and this thing is 20 days long, basically includes alot of walking, drinking lots of water, and streaching on rest days. When Skei gets back from holiday we can walk together, Although We're lazy arounf each other (fuck -.-) but I'll get him to try. Shouldn't be too hard.

.

*Sigh*

Another busy busy day! -.-

I had to get next years uniform too...

and new bras...

and hair dye...

and, yeah you get the point

Good night. Jokes. My beds too messy to sleep at 7 o'clock.

Well Good bye anyways.

x

No Titlee [still no idea what number XD]

Ahh.
My ickle plan is working! (The food plan type thingg) Cozz I am at 146.5 XD and it seems pretty stable, seeing as my weight has been fluctuating. So YEY!
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Oh Yeah I have been planning on following some of MY FOLLOWERS (its so awesome to say that XD) blogs but I've been busy so haven't had the chance. I haven't even caught up on my favourite blogs yet! o.o (I have about 2 or 3 so shouldn't take too long) And then I'll move on to my followers (Fat ballerina, Peri and maybe a few others, they just comment the most ;) )
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And on to my life news.
Skei is going away for a week (Oh yeah Its finally the holidays XD) so I'll have to entertain myself and find some 'friends' to hang out with.
I am seeing a good friend of mine (KT) on Monday and shes staying over, I havent seen her in ages XD WOO I'm reasonably excited :)
I'm seeing Li on Wednesday before she leaves to go off the Spain.
I am making Manny a present for his 16th birthday and throwing him a party at the end of summer (his birthday is like the first day back at school)
I've got alot of course work to do *booo* and I got my timetable for next year, everythings basically the same except instead if ICT i have and extra Science lesson *hiss* so now instead of 5 science lessons I have SIX?? ARGH.
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Yeah theres my update of my life XD
Well except one thing... But I'm not sure weather I wanna say it... But I am gonna say thisss... I broke the law in some way! :D (@.@) But yes. I'm not going to tell you what it is XD
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And I must be off and finish cleaning my room and read blogs!
Au Reviour <3
x