It's My Fault You Cried... [37]

.

I'm Hoping This Little Post Will Come Out Like A Poem... For Skei. Just to say I'm increadibly sorry for corrupting your life.

.

.

Just Like to say I''m sorry

For making You Cry

Corrupting your life

And Seeing Your Lies

.

I'm Sorry

For bleeding out pain

Puffing the smoke

Failing in Vain

.

I hate to see your tears

mostly when they're for me

For all I see is fears

Please dont cry over me

.

I'm not worth the pain

The attention

The tears

Since I'm not perfection

.

I want to show you how I feel

I just cant put it in words

But I'll give it a go

Although it'll sound obsurd

.

You say I've restored your hope

And given back your heart

That I help You Cope

Like its a fresh start

.

I may compare

myself to you

But Youre beautiful Stare

Makes me realise why I love you

.

Your hair

The static sun

My fault

But loved it when done

.

Your beautiful crystals

the ones we call eyes

Green, blue, brown

Prettier than the skies

.

when we walk

hand in hand

to me, its Paradise

minus the sand

.

I love the way you smell

though others dont

as I can always tell

Whos hugging me from behind

.

I love you for you

No one else

Just you

I always do

.

Give me a promise

No lies

Promise

To try

.

Say goodbye

We wont stay

I've grown wings so we can fly

Fly away

.

I'll wait for the day

I fall asleep

and wake up to you

Dream deep

.

I'll wait paitently

for when the time comes

The time life is beauty

and we are home

.

Always

Together

Til Death

Forever

.

Most of its crap>.<.

but hey

I hope Skei likes it

If not I'll jump out my bedroom window :/

I love you all

x

Ahh I Know Double Post.. [17]

Right Several Things.

My stomach officially HATES fast food.
It reacts badly to Yogurt and Apple juice in one day.
And I missed my cervical cancer jab today thanks to my shitty school not telling our parents when they are!! Now my Mum has to sort out me getting it done privately. FFS!

The schools in my area are SHIT!!

Fuuuuuuuuuuckk!!


Just weighed myself :/ 11 stone. Probably coz of the cereal and huge juice consumption of today. I'll fast until dinner tomorrow and have something small for dinner and more water and juice.

I've started on my wall Thinspo, Looking through old magazines and taring out the skinny models and whatnot. Looks pretty good to me. Might take a picture for you all when it's done :D

and whilst going through those magazines I've tared out all the diets and exercise plans out and going to decide what I can actually manage and when I'll do them. Also listening to a Dance Music Channel coz there's nothing else on.

Ahh.. Weekend Fast.

Since last weekend's didn't go too well, and I haven't exactly stuck to my diet since last Friday, I really need to be determined for the next three days. I need to just keep thinking, 'avoid that fatty food and be closer to perfection'... *sigh* I want to be perfect SOO BADLY. It seems no one wants me to be perfect or happy. Everyone [Including my Gran] say I don't need to lose weight, although quite obviously I do. There's been one little nagging feeling recently. 'What If I'm Not Happy Once I'm Skinny??' But I'm ignoring it. Even counteracting it by coming up with 10 reasons why I want to be thin. Fantastic Aye?

Tasks For Tomorrow:
Carry On Thinspo Wall
Look Through The Ripped Magazine Pages And Decide Exercise Shizz
Not Eat. Lol.
Pick More Flowers.
Probably more...

I'll think about it tomorrow.
I might research Kate Moss' diets. Just coz I like Kate Moss. I think shes gorgeous.

If you saw my stack of old magazines, you'd have a real job on your hands. OH I'll do that tomorrow too! Go through more magazines! Corr, Keep me going until Saturday. All through If I have Loads Of Distractions.

Ugh. I don't want to go to Diploma tomorrow. Its all paperwork bollocks. I'm glad I didn't go to school most the week. Skei got suspended yesterday so I didn't really want to be at school when he was at home. He's also moving out of his family's house today. Moving into a friend's house. He cant stand his family anymore, must say I don't like them much myself... One, They think I'm a slut. Two, his Gran Shouted at us the first time I was over. Shoot. Me.

My stomachs still upset from the shitty yogurt. It was gross I must admit. I think I'll stick to my coco nut one. Healthier and tastes better.

I am going on quite a bit aren't I? Oh well! Ahahahaa!
Uhh, well I guess I better get on.

Until Tomorrow Sex Machines! (Ha!)
x

New Set Of Determination [16]

Right, New Determination.

This Month I hope to lose 5 pounds at LEAST!

Since I haven't been to school most the week, I need to start doing more. Its just I'm a lazy bitch and turned down going to the gym this week because I was too depressed. Next week I shall see if Mum wants to go to the gym or not, and in time of Nothing-To-Do I should do sit ups. I haven't done them in a while. Haven't watched t.v in a while either. Also I want to go and pick somemore flowers, make the house smell nice and all that.

I need to stick to my diet again. Shall start that tomorrow and not eat anything else today. Not even hungry at the moment.

I should clean my room... The most I need to do is put some clothes away, some in the washing and put my school books away. And some magazines too.
Theres something I can do tomorrow. Get out all the exercise and diet pages and put them somewhere, like in a folder or on the wall. Or make a huge thinspo on my wall.

Yeahh...

Sounds like fun.
I need to get a bin to put all the random paper thats lying around to recycle. I'll Do that in a second.

Right Thats About All Todayy

Bye All :)
x