I feel so fat. Okay I had a half fast today. 2 bowels of cereal and that has been it. Tomorrow I am starting the full fast of 4 weeks. From the 3rd of January to the 30th of January. I will fast. If anyone gets suspicious get out your list of excuses!! Or have soup for a few days. Operation 'FAST YOU FAT BITCH' is underway!
.
Tomorrow is my last day off school. Fuuuuck. Tomorrow I will be focusing on my English assessment and not eating. I might go for a walk too.
.
This year I'm focusing on eating better. When I do eat that is. No more animal products, just to limit my sweets more. Only cold, filtered water. No carb products i.e. rice, pasta, bread. Unless small quantity, natural healthier version. Drink more water, less juice. Rather than lattes and tea, black coffee with one tea spoon of sweetener.
.
I also want to focus on actually working out more. If I get bored of the usual bed room work outs then I could always go downstairs and do an hour long combat work out, go for a walk or go with my mum shopping more.
.
Reminds me, I need to come up with a food list of things I will always need!
.
Also, Non-weight related things I'm aiming on doing.
Finish or at least write half of one of my books I'm writing. Read the 6 books I haven't finished or started. Work harder at school and do exceedingly well. Get a job... I need the money. Go to auditions for acting roles. Submit my work to publishers etc. to try and get my career started. Basically this year is all about getting thin and starting my career.
.
I'm going to show everyone that I am talented, that I will succeed this year. I will show everyone I'm much more of a genius than they originally thought. That I am skinnier and more beautiful than I used to be.
Next year I will stand out in the sun light, a cigarette in one hand and a black coffee in the other. Glistening purple hair, glasses that make me appear intelligent, fun, stylish. Simple nail varnish, black, blue, purple, camel. Jumpers that are too big and shorts on top of tights. Boots and heels. My signature make up, dark and out standing. This is what I want to be. This year I will make this person my reality. She wont just be a pretty face, she'll have talent, an early career. She'll be a rich girl due to her own success's not her families. She'll be on stage, forcing the audience to applaud her every scene. Her thoughts will be in books, written from her own mind, making it big and selling out within weeks. She will appear on screen next to big stars and others alike. Her paintings and doodles will be worth thousands thanks to her amazing status. Designers and companies will want her to model their products. She will be thin. The envy of everyone.
That is what I want.
.
So there's my aim for this year, to get to that status in the next couple of years, or get closer to my goals.
I apologise about yesterdays post. It was utterly retarded and made no sense. I was distracted and still mildly high when I wrote it. Now I'm off to go write some more Naruto Fanfiction.
.
I wanna be a Ninja, Naruto makes it look like so much fun.
And all of them are skinny.
.
'She Tries Harder Than The Average Teen, An Over-Achiever With Low Self Esteem, Wants To Walk Like A Star, But She Takes It Too Far.' - Rachel Ferguson - Never Good Enough
